February 22nd.


Aku masuk kelas pakai contact lens for the first time. And the moment aku masuk je kelas, classmates semua pandang aku lain macam. Maybe they were still not familiar with my new look―I don't know. I don't really care about it, until one of my classmates tegur.

"Eh, kau pakai lens? Lainnya muka kau."

Being an insecure person I am, aku terus pergi tandas―check muka.

And he was right, I do looked different. The dark circles under my eyes looked so prominent they could have been easily seen from afar. Tudung jadi crooked, tak betul, and I had a hard time adjusting my hijab to cover my double chin. And all of these were perfectly fine when I'm wearing spectacles.

Di situ aku tersedar, walaupun cermin terdiri dari komponen asas yang sama, ia tak semestinya mencerminkan diri kita yang sama secara konsisten. Cermin yang kau tengok dekat rumah, mungkin akan menunjukkan perkara yang berbeza dengan apa yang kau nampak kat cermin di tempat awam. Kau rasa kau dah nampak okey dekat rumah, tapi bila kau tengok balik cermin after some time, kau jadi nampak 'tak semenggah'. Maksud aku di sini, even mirror lies, and the truth itself hurts.

Lepas daripada tu, aku terus bertaubat tanak pakai lens ke kelas lagi. At least until the dark circles disappears (which is impossible). Sumpah buruk nak mampus.


Miss Ivy mulakan kelas Musculoskeletal System II dengan tajuk Spine, and she asked for 3 male and female models untuk dia tunjukkan demonstration for assessing back pain patients. So I volunteered myself to be one of them―the one with back pain. And this is what I get;

"You have a flat cervical, flat thoracic, but you have a nice lumbar (which is good since most of Malays have flat backs). You have rounded shoulders and also weak hamstrings as a result of over-extension of the knees. You're basically have a very bad back because the weight of your body have been supported completely by your lumbar instead of sharing it with your cervical and thoracic. That's why you've been experiencing a very bad back pain and if it worsens, it could effect your nerves."

So I told her that I think it has already been affecting my nerves for at least a year now; experiencing dull aching pain (lenguh), numbness and tingling on the left arm and leg, so she advised for me to have a check-up to confirm it. And of course dia ada jugak sentuh aspek-aspek lain during the session which was embarrassing for me to say and yes―the whole class laughed hahahaha.

The best thing about learning Physiotherapy is that you could self-diagnose (with the help of the professionals of course) and treat yourself before it gets worse. But of course when it does, you have to get help.

"Nak jadi Physiotherapist, tapi ramai yang berpenyakit."


Till then.
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A 20 year old, Physiotherapy student. Is a perfectionist who appreciates good dramas and music. A sucker for romance. I write, too.

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